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Bonnie commented on Mom and Nate's Cooking Date (revised)

Great, thanks so much for these suggestions, Roseanne!

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Bonnie commented on Why Walk When You Can Run?

Hi Yael,
Nice work and cute story. One suggestion would be to work on the rhythm/rhyme scheme you have going. Try to keep the same number of syllables in each line from page to page. It makes it easier for caregivers to read and makes the rhythm of the book more catchy.

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Bonnie commented on Where to Mama?

Hi Laura,
Really cute story. Is the idea that mama is leading Jamal to the playground the whole time? Or are they running errands along the way? If it's to the park the whole time, maybe at the beginning you say something like "Where to mama? You will see" and then you take them along the route and at the end, instead of asking Jamal where he wants to go, mama says something like "We're here, Jamal"...
Otherwise, if they're running errands you could include something about the stops along the way and at the end the mom then gives Jamal a choice of where to go and he chooses the park.