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Mark R commented on The IN-stitute, the Action Tank for Inclusive Change.

Simo - Here are some suggested changes:

What problem does your idea solve? – remove “and progress with”

Explain your idea - I find this paragraph difficult to read and as a result is not compelling– it is too text heavy and dense. I think this needs to be clearer, and easier to understand.

Who benefits? - Could be stronger – there are a lot of beneficiaries:
1. Engagers
2. Fellows
3. The young adults with disabilities who the program touches
4. Others with disabilities but who aren’t involved in the program, but benefit due to the program
5. The families of all of the above groups
6. Society – explain how it benefits society
a. Economic benefit
b. Social benefit
c. Other benefits

How is your idea unique? - Good ideas, but too dense and not well articulated

Tell us more about you - Include your website
Share links to Parkmandu and Engage– share real outcomes with meaningful data
Share information about your advisors
“amazing advisors” sounds like it is fluff and not meaningful

What are some of your unanswered questions about the idea? - I think there are some grammatical mistakes in these questions.

Experience in Implementation Country(ies) - Need additional information that answers their question

Expertise in Sector - Need additional information that answers their question

Idea Maturity- Need additional information that answers their question