Hi Liz, What a privilege and a blessing to read your final journey with J . I am so glad that he and A had a friend in you, one who was able to turn a clinical situation to a place where you could all gather some comfort from J's favourite things and each other. I think with every will made, so should a living directive be made along side, part and parcel... possibly made with love ones, so if the time comes it takes some pressure off those who are left with making those hard decisions.. I have learnt through experience with my own father, that I do not want my husband or children to watch me have a traumatic death experience. That is not how I want to be remembered.