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Don't be shy, girl!

My mother once told me a personal story that I will never forget. She was walking back home, alone. It was dark. No one around. She heard that someone was walking behind her, not too close initially but then she realized very soon she was being followed. She felt uncomfortable and unsafe. But … She also felt that it would be silly or even “stupid" of her if she would scream, start running, or simply turned around to see who is behind. She said she was too shy and didn’t want to "insult" the person who probably was just walking behind her. She was wrong! That night she was attacked and beaten by the person who was following her. Fortunately, someone was walking by and heard her screaming and scared the attacker away. She was lucky!

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Written by DeletedUser

Lesson learned
She learned a lesson and taught me one - Do not be shy! And do what your instinct tells you in that moment. You are protecting yourself!

On being safe
If you feel someone is following you and you want to turn around and see who it is - do that! If you feel that you need to start walking really fast and run - then run! Doesn’t matter what others will think! Go with your gut - there is a reason why we feel something. And if you feel you are unsafe and need to scream for help - then scream! Who cares if others think you are “crazy" - this can save your life. Don’t dismiss and ignore your own feelings and instructs - they are there to protect you. Some types of attackers don’t like the noise and the fuss, they get distracted, and it draws others’ attention.

On feeling empowered
I’ve often hear that women are too emotional, they show their feeling too much and they need to be more reserved. But I believe that our feelings are our power, and they were given to us by evolution - they are our survival mechanism that we must use, especially when we are in danger. So don’t be shy of how you feel, if you feel scared there must be a reason and act on your feelings. Girls need to be taught to trust their gut and use their “super powers” - feelings to make sound decision for themselves. They need to hear over and over and over again " Not to be shy of how they feel!"
There is also a social component to that behavior. We girls often want to be liked, we always think about "what others will think of us if we …”, we want to be friendly with everyone etc. That backfires!

Your perspective
Thanks for reading this. Please do share your thoughts and feelings!

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Photo of Yaowen

You are absolutely right, Elena. The only thing would happen if girls keep quiet is to make themselves get hurt. Girls should be brave!

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