Sometimes you just don't find the person to partner with and you decide you've wanted wee ones since as far back as you can remember so you jump into the abyss, with all the fear that evokes, and decide you are going to go it alone.
There is no orthodox image of a family anymore. I live next to two men who've adopted three kids, near two women who are single mothers (through different means) and am one of three close girlfriends who has decided to wade into the waters of single motherhood. We've lived and traveled and loved all over the world, but here we are, nonetheless. So we go it alone. It's not what I pictured in my mind's eye as a "family" but I have watched my dear friend here carefully cultivate a rich and full world so that it is not just her and her wee one and I hope to be able to emulate that. It clearly does take many loving hands and she is intentional about reaching out with love and grace to weave that fabric.
I grapple with late night fears of how I will make it work, I will need to leave my job in order to caretake for this child and have no idea what type of health insurance i can get for us, but also see the dissolution of dear friends' relationships and think how hard that it with wee ones. I recognize how fortunate I am in this day and age to be born with the passport and opportunities that my folks carved out for me and realize there is much to be grateful for despite so many unknowns.