The Impact of Meaning
When my stepdad received a terminal diagnosis of leukemia, our family surrounded him with care, activity, and lively conversation. Over the 17 months before he died, each of us had the chance with him to get to know each other better, to discuss and resolve old tensions, and to mutually express our appreciation. His illness, in a surprising way, brought us that blessing. But many families aren't so lucky. Our culture has failed to provide them the tools with which to knit together a healing conclusion.
I envision an app, designed in collaboration with experienced end-of-life workers, counselors, and chaplains, that provides families a structure for making short yet important expressions of meaning to each other.
These could be short conversations of perhaps five minutes each, once a day or once a week, depending on the imminence of death. Each conversation would cover just a single question or expression, guided by prompts such as:
- You have influenced me by...
- I want you to know that it meant a lot to me when you...
- I admire/appreciate how you...
- Can you help me understand why you...
- I am sorry for...
- I forgive you for...
Or, given the difficulty for many people of saying these kinds of things out loud, the tool could afford people the chance to answer the prompts in different ways — in person, in writing, in images, in actions, etc.
The app could also provide a bit of pocket philosophy, serving up daily quotes and short spiritual texts on the nature and meaning of death — thus filling in some of the gaps left by our cultural avoidance of discussing death. Family members, who opt in to be connected via the app, could share the ones that move them most with each other.
(Image via StockMonkeys.com)
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CommentDoug Wilson