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What We See 1, 2, 3

A manuscript for young children to be comfortable with their outdoor surroundings as often seen from their point of view within a stroller.

Photo of Oren Tuchin

Written by

Jump in the stroller we’re going outside

Count what you see on our neighborhood ride.

 

I can hear singing way up in the tree.

How many birds do you think you can see?

 

There is the person who gives us the mail.

How many stamps do you see have a whale?

 

Clouds float so slow and are fluffy and big.

How many look like a dog or a pig?

 

Look at the buildings and all of the stores.

How many shop signs hang over the doors?

 

There is a crane helping lift heavy bricks.

How many holes will they fill up and fix?

 

Up in the sky planes are flying so high.

How many do you see zooming right by?

 

As the sun sets I see windows with light.

How many lamps can you see shining bright?


Out comes the moon and the stars all appear.

How many dots do you see sparkling here?


Over the sidewalk street lights hum and glow.

How many brighten the people below?

 

I hear soft meows at the top of a stoop.

How many cats are there in this big group?

 

Now we are home and it’s time for some sleep.

Try to rest now, if it helps count some sheep!

Describe the intended vision for your early childhood book manuscript in 1-2 sentences

The vision is for caregivers to be aware of the limitations of what a baby sees when in a stroller, and also get curious by looking up themselves.

Share your suggested book title

What We See 1, 2, 3

How has this book been informed by early childhood language development research and evidence? (response minimum 250 Characters)

I tried to stick with Tier 1 words, with a handful of two syllable words. I incorporated counting as research has shown babies around 15-18 months start doing "simple" math. Studies have also shown that positive experiences in the first year of life are crucial to healthy development. As such, I hope this book helps children relive positive experiences they may have had during the day if they were pushed in a stroller.

Please describe any familiarity you may have with Philadelphia and its residents? (optional question)

I live in Philadelphia and have met people within various neighborhoods I cross through.

How have you crafted this manuscript to resonate with and/or reflect the experiences of those living in urban contexts? (optional question)

In an urban setting, nature tends to be minimal, but one can see the vertical frames created by the sides of buildings and houses. Using this narrowed perspective I'm hoping the child connects his/her experiences in the book to what he/she sees outside.

Location: Country

United States

Location: State or Department

PA

Location: City

PHILADELPHIA

Tell us more about you / your team

I am a stay-at-home dad for a two year old. I spend a lot of time reading to him and taking walks. I approach this work as someone who would love to help add to the richness of developing reading habits early on in life, as well as give the child a positive bedtime experience if this is one of the last books read at night. I want not only the child to engage, but keep the caregiver stimulated enough as well so as not to get bored reading the book over and over again. My partner and I strive to raise our two year old in a healthy environment based on child led play. I also help parents with raising newborns to be independent and self-confident. Melissa writes a lot and does voice over recordings.

Provide an example visual identity for a look and feel you might like to achieve. ( (optional question, 3-5 visuals)

Multiple Choice - Have you been previously published (online, self-published, and print included)?

  • No

Do you have an agent?

  • No

How did you hear about the Challenge? (optional question)

  • Someone in my network (word of mouth)

What best describes you? (optional question)

  • I am/we are creatives, writers, or artists

16 comments

Join the conversation:

Comment
Spam
Photo of Matthew Sindelar
Team

I love that each phrase ends with a question. I can see how this would be engaging for children!

Spam
Photo of Oren Tuchin
Team

Hi Matthew Sindelar , thank you for commenting!
Oren

Spam
Photo of Robert Smith
Team

Hi Oren Tuchin ,

Nice use of the ‘serve and return’ technique!

Your rhythm and accented syllables are wonderful. I would encourage you to read your story out loud to expose any issues such as, perhaps, “Over the sidewalk lamp posts...”

Good luck! Robert

Spam
Photo of Oren Tuchin
Team

Thanks Robert Smith ,
Yeah, I've been struggling with that sidewalk line. I'd prefer to throw an "a" or something between the words to let it roll off the tongue more easily. I've thought about using "light posts" as a short term solution since it feels slightly more natural.

Thanks for pointing this out!
Oren

Spam
Photo of Ashanti Antonio Prescott
Team

Diversity is a universal number. This we may learn to accept as much as a child learns from what is happen around and the daily interactions. Nice story line

Spam
Photo of Oren Tuchin
Team

Hi Ashanti Antonio Prescott ,
Thank you for the compliment. I too hope that we learn something by putting ourselves in the child's shoes as we go about the day with them. I know that I sometimes go in auto-mode when pushing the stroller, and suddenly my son will point out the moon. When I look up, I instantly become present and share a beautiful moment with him. I have also come to have a renewed sense of awe when the moon is out by seeing it through his young eyes even when he is not around.

Spam
Photo of Ashanti Antonio Prescott
Team

Oren that's a good testimony and you are right. We have to step back and see what they see. This may even allow us to understand or childhood days much better

Spam
Photo of Ashanti Antonio Prescott
Team

Oren, while we at it, don't know if you have the time to give me a feedback on my story.
Regards,

Spam
Photo of Dawnnbooks .
Team

The constant questions in this story does encourage the child to really see the world and maybe not only answer the reader but to start asking questions too!
Nicely done.

Spam
Photo of Oren Tuchin
Team

Hi Dawnnbooks . ,
Thank you for the compliment, and yes! I hope to generate enough curiosity to elicit more questions. I plan on adding other common elements to the scenes unobtrusively that a regular reader might eventually notice and want to learn about, or start counting them as well. And I hope to take advantage of primary colors so that a spin-off question by the caregiver could be something like, "Which birds are red?" Which one is blue?". Now we're getting into bonus learning when the child is around two years old :)

Spam
Photo of Dawnnbooks .
Team

I think that is a good idea.
It would also give the story the flexibility to grow with the child.

Spam
Photo of DeletedUser
Team

DeletedUser

I really enjoyed reading this Oren and think that it's a great idea to look at the view from a stroller. There's so much wonderful scope for counting, talking and language development. Your rhymes are easy to read, I just had a problem with the cat line, to me it reads better without 'some'.

Good luck with your submission :o)

Spam
Photo of Oren Tuchin
Team

Hi @DeletedUser ,
Thank you for taking the time to read this story and comment on it. I can see how "some" is not the best descriptor. What would you think if it were "soft" or another adjective to describe the quality of the meows?

Spam
Photo of DeletedUser
Team

DeletedUser

You're welcome Oren! For me the rhyme works perfectly without any extra word at all. Maybe somebody could read the story out loud to you, with and without 'some' to see what sounds best to you and them. But if you want to leave that extra syllable in I think 'soft' would work well.

Spam
Photo of Oren Tuchin
Team

Thanks for the quick reply! I'll go with "soft" for now. I have kept every line at 10 syllables, and I know I would constantly think of that one nine syllable line which would eventually drive me crazy ;)

Spam
Photo of DeletedUser
Team

DeletedUser

:o) You're welcome! Soft sounds better than some, all the other options I came up with were two syllables!

Good luck :o)