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Stop Creating Something

There is time when I stop creating something. There are many reasons to stop doing it. But I can't not stop. There is something inside me, persuade me to start creating again. There was battle in me. I really grateful, I have find the solution

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Written by DeletedUser

There is time when I stop creating something like craft, illustration or short stories. At that time I had acute perfectionist attitude. I just criticize all my creation. It hurts me a lot. So I just stop. But there is another part of me that, gently encourage me to start creating something again.

I feel like battle with myself. No, I really do battle with myself. I'm exhausted, lose confident, and depressed.

Then, I seek help. I cannot solve this by myself. And finally I get help by a graphotherapist (she has degree in psychology also). Since I lost confident, I look down at myself and really surprise when she told me that I have a lot of good attitude. 

She gave me advice about believe and value. How believe influence the way we make decision, what we got, etc. It turns out I have believe that Life is Difficult. Since I believe life is difficult, my mind create everything difficult for me.

She also told me that the reason I procrastinate doing something creative is because I live in my comfort zone, with friends who live in comfort zone also. I'm in an environment where you still get good reward even when you achieve nothing. What a comfort zone.I have passionless friends. They like their life just the way it is. Life without passion nor dream.Plus I don't have mentor taught me about my dream (design clothes).

In order to have a peace life (between me and me), have passion to design and create beautiful clothes that make people shine, I'm advised to join community where passionate people gather.

Somehow I become spirited about this idea. I can feel the joy of doing creative things. Perhaps if I gather with passionate and creative people, I also become like them. I will meet new friends who have same problem with me and we can share and solve the problem together. Maybe I see hope. I also change my believe about life.

Changing believe, gather with passionate people help me to get creative confidence. Now I start illustrating again. I start designing again. Everyday will be beautiful. 

Story of my life.

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